We should never forget how important it is to love our mother & father. Sure, not all of us are fortunate enough to have exemplary parents, but we have to bear in mind that eventhough we don't get to choose who our parents are, we can choose to love them. And that's how to start making a difference.
Turns out that for the past few weeks, I really was being a pessimistic person.
And so now I decide to change that.
Alhamdulillah :)
Yep, sometimes all I need is a sincere+grateful smile :)
After all, even God's prophet Sulaiman a.s. smiled, thinking about how vast & priceless were God's gifts to him & mankind.
And so if I myself refuse to smile, ain't I an ungrateful servant?
"So he smiled, wondering at her (the ant's) word, and said: My Lord! grant me that I should be grateful for Thy favour which Thou hast bestowed on me and on my parents, and that I should do good such as Thou art pleased with, and make me enter, by Thy mercy, into Thy servants, the good ones." (Surah An-Naml [27]: 19)
Oh, and peeps, I won't be unavailable for service starting tomorrow. Huhu I am to check into the ward tomorrow morning, and after the operation on Monday, it'll take several months for full recovery.
Haha I have to admit that I am a lil bit scared actually. But heck, as my Dad told me, "Jangan takut. Rasa takut akan tambahkan rasa sakit."
So yeah, I'll try to smile throughout the whole process yeah! :P But seriously, I'm sorry for any inconvenience caused due to my absence.
Peace yo! Pray for me please. Assalamualaikum w.b.t. :)
People keep saying that I'm being plainly pessimistic, but yeah, I seriously find it difficult to see any instant good prognosis of my problems.
Don't get me wrong. I still have hope. Yet as the stress just keeps piling up, plus that I won't be -at least- in top physical condition, the factoid is that the prognosis for the upcoming few months will not be good.
And eventually, now in the midst of all this shit whatever this is, I'm craving for the times when I get to sincerely smile. Heck, even small+masked smiles like these will do.
hmm when i put the photos in chronological order, i notice my smile is fading by time
But now that I think of it, perhaps this is the second wave of this so-called 'biggest lesson of my life' so far. Yeah I thought it ended at that time when I decided to stay in Malaysia, but nope, it didn't simply end there. That decision was just the beginning. The beginning of my so-called journey in becoming a takabbur-less servant of Allah.
And O God, it truly is becoming more difficult than before! But I still believe in You. I still believe that with difficulties, there is ease. I still believe that if when I pass through all these shit tests, I shall taste the ultimate success.
Because in the end, what's the point of being successful in the eyes of people, when in the end, I can't even put one foot into Paradise?
"One will not enter Paradise, if one has an atom's weight of arrogance in his/her heart." (HR Muslim & Tirmidzi)
For the physical pain, that's why I've been taking more painkillers and getting my attention on football. But only after I finally follow the doctor's advice, I noticed some improvement. Nevertheless, up until now, a surgical operation is still in their consideration.
Bummer. Because the rugby team captain just offered me to join them for sukad. Haha as rare as that actually is, had to say no for that one.
As for the other pains, I finally realised that they actually have a lot to do with my spiritual well-being. Because it turns out that I've been so celaru looking for advices from people all this while, that I forgot to ask for help from the One who created this heart of mine.
I forgot to ask from Allah. Astaghfirullah al-azim.
And yet, even in times when I forget about Him, He never forget. Not for even one moment.
Because if He does, all of creations will halt, all of which matters will be no more.
Because if He does, this narcissistic jerk wouldn't even still be alive.
Because if He does, there'll be no one to remind me of Him.
And when I think of Him, of all the gifts He had bestowed upon me, how powerful He indeed is,
It revives my soul. It brings me to life.
Lo, am I still too arrogant to be grateful? Am I still too stupid to not grab Allah's delicious serving?
"Surely by Allah's remembrance are the hearts set at rest." [13:28]
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you."
In a way, a good thing about being a medical student/doctor is the ability to recognise the signs+symptoms of a serious disease on yourself, before it's too late.
Ah that feeling. At first you become excited, then worried. Then it reminds you that no matter who you are, you're apparently also human.
And most of the time, where there's human, there's pain.
"Expect good, because Allah s.w.t. make a believer's sickness an expiation (for his sins) and a period of repose." (HR Bukhari)
